Scriptural Spark

What is with our fascination with "the spark"? You hear it fairly often as people converse about relationships. To the new couple, "So... Do you feel the spark with each other?" Or maybe we use a different term, with the just couple trying to figure out if they should be more than just friends: "Well, do you feel chemistry with him/her?" I had friends ask it very bluntly: "Are you attracted to her?"

Here's what I have learned from watching a lot of couples, dating, married and otherwise.
There is no spark or chemistry. Let's think about that imagery for a second here. The spark sounds like a pilot light on your (water) heater. You know, the small flame that is (supposed to be) constantly lit so that when fuel flows by, it's ignited and burns brightly.
You know, that's not a bad analogy. That core thing that two people have between them that can be counted on to ignite the power flowing from each other. So what is that core thing? Is that looks? Cause that's a pilot light that won't last long. How about money, power, or position? All temporary. Health, as long as you both have your health-... No wait, two mortal bodies, right? Car crashes happen daily?... So not the most reliable light. And of course, in the context it's usually used in this "spark" is meant to be similar interests, the adorable things he or she says to you, and general attraction.
You know what is a good and steady fuel source? One that's eternal? True Love!!!... Yeah, no. No Disney movie here. God. There's no steadier, brighter, stronger ignition to a relationship than God.

What about chemistry? That one sounds good in many ways. Baking soda plus vinegar equals a whole lot of reaction. Here you take out the need for a 3rd element (though it could be there). Do you say things that makes him get butterflies? Does he make that face that just melts your heart? What if he or she can finish your sentences? Or seem to always know what you're thinking??
What I know of chemistry, and it's not much... definitely not my best class in school, a lot of reactions have down sides. Ever seen how electric plating works? If not, go look it up. Suffice to say, there are two elements and one gets a lot of attention, and the other gets worn down. That's not two wholes joining together to make one whole (first thing close to a Biblical quote in this whole thing so far).
You want to make it scriptural? Two inert chemicals in a jar. No reaction between. Heat is supplied and suddenly they react and form something new and powerful together. God is the heat.

So then the thought going through my head is that you should date around and find the girl or guy that you do have chemistry with or experience the spark with. But God is the spark in every relationship. God is the chemistry that is binding you to your parents, your brother, your best friend, your least friend, the stranger, the girl next door, etc. You don't have to search for it, it's all around you. He's all around you. You do have to treat your brother or sister the way He commands you. You do have to be willing to take the covenant of marriage as seriously as He takes it. You do have to love and respect and care and provide. Regardless of any spark or chemical present. And in that? God will ignite your relationships beyond anything you could possibly dream of.

Stop looking for "the spark." Big Foot is reclining right next to his pal Mr. Abominable ("The One") having a snow cone. Ok, that's not true. You want to find "The One" and "the spark"? Say "I do," and then cling to God.

Read More

Fear of Death

You've probably read this quote before:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” - C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Who here likes to be vulnerable?

I do. I like risk. I think I optimistically believe that when I take risks, the reward outweighs the cost. I made investments that came out badly. I have performed actions that caused me physical injury. I have loved and lost. Yet I still say, the reward is better than the risk.

I have many friends who laughingly refer to my accident proneness. It seems every few weeks I have some new hole, bruise, or cast on my body. One dear friend described my most recent injury with the specification that I did not inflict this one on myself, but was a victim. It seems what my friends are saying, though not directly, is that I am often placing myself in harms way. That maybe I would save myself some harm if I just protected myself better. This is what my head says to that:

“To live at all is to be vulnerable. Live doing anything and your life will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must do nothing. Wrap it carefully round with safe hobbies and riskless activities; avoid all adventures. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your comfort. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To live is to be vulnerable.”

Yep, just butchered a timeless quote. I feel a little bad.

Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't be smarter and stop jumping off ladders and tearing up my ligaments. But I am trying to make a point about what life is like in "safety." Our culture has taught us that our safety is paramount, that risks should be avoided, and life should be performed in caution.

I remember going into work almost 2 years ago. I was going to be on time, but there, on the side of the road, was a car with flashers and a woman on a cell phone. I slowed to a stop behind, and stepped out asking if I could help. She informed me that a tow truck was on it's way, and I asked if I could look at her car while she waited. Before the tow truck had arrived, I was able to get her car back up and running, and inform her of how to repair the issue permanently for much less than a garage would charge her. Yet another adventure down. The interesting thing, though, was my boss's reaction.
"Why would you take the risk to help out a stranger? She could have had a gun, she could have been setting you up to rob you, steal your car, kidnap you, or worse. What were you thinking??"

See, in his eyes, the risk was much greater than the reward. The reward, as he perceived it, was feeling good about helping a stranger. The risk was my life.

But I see the economy a bit differently. I saw a person in need, in ways that I had the ability and skill to help. The risk? A few minutes late arriving to work.

My boss was insistent on the value of my life. He considered me a skillful employee with knowledge and character that was of great worth. I know if I was taken from this earth people would miss me.
But I would not miss this world.

I know people who openly admit they don't want to die. There's still parts of life they'd like to experience before they pass on. We hear news stories of young people dying and think, "What a shame, they only experienced a short piece of life." Totally, absolutely true. I love life. I love the crazy, amazing things God has created. I want to explore the world. I want to meet more people and exchange stories of adventure. I want to see the rest of my siblings get married. I want to see more nieces and nephews show up to fly them around the room as I did my first nephew last night. I want to get married myself, to know what it is to have a wife. I want to be successful at work and take companies farther than they knew they could go. But, if while in the midst of those pursuits, I'm taken home? Then I am at peace.

Because I know where I'm going. I know for who I am living. I know for who I am dying. Without a solid understanding of those truths, my life would be very timid.

And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself? - Luke 9:23-25 (ESV)

What will it do me if I should live to be 90, yet have gotten there wrapped in careful protection? What in life should I give up to gain more of that careful life? Sustained mediocrity is just a lot of mediocrity.

Do you know where you're going? What is the purpose of your life? If you died today, what would you regret not doing or not achieving?

---

This life has shown me how we're mended
And how we're torn
How it's okay to be lonely as long as you're free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it's done
Well, if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind
I don't care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
Well, It'll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won't break my heart to say goodbye

Elijah - Rich Mullins 

Read More