Last night I was listening to a good friend of mine give a message on suffering and pain. He spoke from 2 Corinthians 4, and his reminder struck me as beautiful. Look at what Paul wrote:
"7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:7-12
They're called "earthen jars", or jars made of earth. He's speaking very directly of our earthly bodies in the analogy of jars. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd carry treasure around in clay jars. Something just nags at me that withdrawing all my money and putting them in terracotta pots would not end well. But maybe that's the intention. In this scripture, the treasure we have is hope. I mean, look at what all Paul says we may/will go through, so that the hope, the manifestation of Jesus, would be shown?
When I heard "jars of clay", after thinking of the CCM band, I thought of Gideon and his 300 hundred men. You know the story, right? Starts out with a lot of men- Actually, scratch that, he starts out with a lot of doubt and questioning of God. Then after getting that out of the way, he gathers the warriors of Israel. Thousands of fighting men. God speaks and says, "to make my glory known, we're going to cut that number down." Gideon has to be thinking, "I was kinda comfortable having all these guys. We're untrained and outnumbered already," but he does what God says to do. Through various curious methods of elimination (my favorite: "any of you afraid? Go home."), the number gets cut down to around 300 men. Then God arms them. They take clay pots and put torches in them. They surround the enemy camp with their lights dark until the horn is blown and then they smash the jars. Bam, all their light is poured out. The glory of God is made known to the world in the destruction of the jars.
I wonder how many warriors went, "Hmm... Can't we just pull our torch out and shine it? I mean, do we really have to destroy this nice clay jar?" Maybe even thinking, "Hey, I worked hard to make this jar! I could use it to move water, or wine, or oil."
People don't often understand Christians when they deal with suffering and loss. We're grieved. We become saddened and moved. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, after all. But we have a hope. And when we are tested, when our jars are chipped and cracked, our hope shines out. Are in that, darkness runs and hides. As we are tested, His glory shines through. In our death, His life is released. What a beautiful, broken vessel we are, that He can redeem our pain and suffering.
Isn't it interesting that the Father didn't chase down the prodigal son? He didn't force him to return home. He did stand watching, every day, for His son to return.
For a controlling person like me, it makes me wonder if He sent letters. If the town the son went to was full of chatter of this person who treated His servants so well. Was that what brought to mind in the son's head and heart how well His father cared for people? Did the Father fear, like I do, that the son would choose a mid-point. Something that seemed as good as the truth, but was not truly home? This world of compromise wears heavily on my trust that we will seek and know the truth.
You know what I'm not? A father. I am a big brother. They're not the same, I realize that. I don't know what it's like to feel like a father who wants to protect his daughter. I do know what it's like to be a big brother who wants nothing but the best for his little (and big) sisters.
On that note, let me address a song that's gone viral and a song on the Top 40 list.
First is the original song, "Rude" by Magic! It's a catchy song, and I'll admit it got caught in my head more than once. Who can't like the reggae beat? Short summary of the song: Young man wants to marry girl, puts on his best and goes to ask her father for his permission to marry her. The father says no, not 'til the day the suitor dies, to which the suitor asks why he has to be so rude, admits he's human too, and then declares he'll marry the father's daughter anyway, no matter what the father says.
Ok, the good:
I can't believe I'm going to pick apart a Top 40 song, but here goes. The guy starts off by putting on his best suit. This is an act of honor toward the father. He doesn't tumble out of bed, run his hands through his hair and jump in his car to go talk to the girl's father. His intentions are good, it appears, and his actions back him up. The singer calls the father an "old-fashioned man," and yet this "new-fangled" young man is willing to respect him and ask for permission.
For the rest of my life. In a day and age when marriage is being pushed off until later and later, and one-night-stands and flings are the thing, this guy wants to marry the girl and knows that that means forever. More kudos to the suitor.
Further down, we find that the suitor at least claims that the father's daughter loves him in return. So much that she's willing to go anywhere with him. In other words, if he so choose (and he does later) he could run off with the daughter without asking for her father's blessing.
He's going to marry her. A lot like the "rest of my life" statement, at least he's honorable enough to marry her and not just run off.
The bad:
I'll just start off with him saying "I'm gonna marry her anyway." That just doesn't sound like a good move. I've been there. You're asking for a lot of pain and strife going that route.
Considering permission an "old-fashioned" thing. I could write a whole post on this topic alone. Suffice it to say, I don't think a father protecting his daughter is an old-fashioned thing.
Running away. Real men stand up. Real men face the challenge. Threatening to take the father's daughter to "another galaxy" is not exactly helpful to the situation.
The father wanting nothing of it. I mean, that's the point of the song, right? It's not, "Let's talk about it." It's not, "I'm concerned about your future with her." It's just no. I've been on the other side of this, and this is one of the most disheartening things you can do to an (honorable) young man: shut it down and deny him a chance. Pro tip: this just creates more resentment and encourages him to take drastic action.
Alright, so that's the current pop hit. Kudos to Magic! for putting out a song without profanity and showing some honor and respect and getting to the Top 40.
Now, here's the second song: RUDE Cover (The Dad's Side Of The Story)
Humorous, right?
But one, just one statement in there earns the author this blog post: "I may be a Christian but I'll go to prison [..]"
If the author had not mentioned that, I'd give him a pass on just parenting badly. But if you claim to be a Christian, you're asking fellow believers to hold you to the standard you profess. Humor or no.
I've read that the author got hung up on the suitor declaring that he'd marry the father's daughter anyway, and as I mentioned earlier, from a protection standpoint that makes sense. But he adds a lot to the story of "why", and I don't find any of those reasons in the Bible.
"Seeking permission to marry my princess", ok, back to not having experience as a father. But I would call my little sister a "princess", and that's who she is in my heart. But I've seen this attitude in Christian parents. Idolization of the children. Yes, she's your princess, but she's human too. Fallen and sinful just like him, and just like you.
"Son what’s wrong with your big head
It’s the first time I've met you
Why would I let you
Run off with my baby girl" - This doesn't jibe with the original song. That speaks of the father's daughter being in love with the suitor and the suitor knowing that the father was an "old-fashioned" kinda guy. Guys should be pursuing a relationship with the parents of the girl he loves. He needs to know what the father thinks, how she was raised, and to show them honor and respect. It's a stretch either way, but the author made the assumption one way, I'll make a case for the opposite.
"You say you want my daughter for the rest of your life
Well you gotta make more than burgers and fries"
And this is where I started to not like this. Let me disclaim something before I address this. I'm single, I'm 27, I have a steady, well paying white-collar job, own a home of which I'm paying off a mortgage, I own my car in full, and overall I have been very responsible and fortunate in my situation.
And though I haven't found myself in such a economic position, even I take offense to this statement. What is wrong with making burgers and fries? Are those blue-collar workers not worthy of marrying your daughter? Are they to marry at all?
"Get out your momma’s basement, go and get you a life.
Son, you’re 28, don’t you think it’s time?"
This really depends. I've met guys who just won't grow up and spend their adult years in their parents house playing video games and wasting their time away. I also have an older brother and several friends who stayed with my parents for years after college, benefitting from the economical situation (let alone the global economic situation overall). They were mature and ready to marry their wives when they did. In fact, I believe they were able to better care for their wives due to the benefits of having saved more money while living with their family. Once again, the author assumes that the guy is a bum, and I argue that that is not always the case.
"Why you gotta call me rude?
I’m doin’ what a dad should do
Keep her from a fool like you"
There is point and purpose to parents protecting their children. I come from circles where parents don't let their children make choices, they make the choices for their children. Even after they're grown adults. God called parents to raise up a child in the way they should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it. Some versions use "train up" in place of "raise up". Teach. Train. Give your daughter the wisdom to make that choice on her own. That's wise parenting. Telling them what to do all the time is lazy parenting. Not that it's not intensive, but that when it comes to what your responsibility actually is, you're failing. If she grows up and you die, will she be able to take care of herself? If she marries, you die, and her husband dies, can she take care of herself? It’s important for daughters to know that they have the tools necessary to survive out in the world on their own, and for parents in turn to realize that they have to let their grown adult children go at some point to discover that world and keep growing in maturity and responsibility.
"And if you marry her anyway
you marry that girl
I'm gonna punch your face
You marry that girl,
I’ll make you go away.
You marry that girl,
you're in the bottom of a lake."
Ok, so as Christians, we believe that marriage is forever. As in ever. I hate to tell you this, fathers everywhere, but if your daughter enters into a covenant with someone, your responsibility is not to "punch the husband in the face," "make him go away," or have him end up "in the bottom of a lake" No, now your job is to make sure that they hold to that Biblical covenant and treat each other as a husband and wife should treat each other, and to cover them in prayer. Were they foolish to go around you? Yes. Does that mean that they'll likely be foolish in other aspects of their lives? Maybe. So how about covering them in prayer and being involved in their lives to encourage and direct them toward a life pursuing the image of Christ?
"You may not get this, so let me explain it
Cause you need to understand
This is forever, she deserves better
She really needs a grown man"
In the original song, the suitor understands that this is forever. Really what you're doing here is threatening him that if he does this, they'll be married forever and you'll hold it against them forever. Him marrying your daughter may not be a "grown man" move, but neither is your attitude.
"I know what you're thinkin’
You think you’ll still take her
Well give it your best shot
I may be a Christian but I’ll go to prison
I’m not scared of doing hard time"
I know what you're thinkin', you think you're laying your life on the line for your daughter. We've all heard the jokes of the dad polishing up the 22 gauge when the young man comes calling. The fear of God does need to be instilled in the young love birds, but you're conveying a message to your daughter and this young man that is the least helpful for anyone.
The parody is built up in judgement against the suitor. Mostly for status, situation, and position. No wonder people outside our faith call us judgemental and hypocritical. None of those are what the Bible takes into consideration when it comes to selecting a spouse. If the lyrics had mentioned something about not being a Christian, about not pursuing a life in the image of Christ, which 1 Timothy 3 might work well for comparison, I wouldn't have so much to write on. Yes, this post is written out of hurt from being on the other side of a father much like what this song shows, but it's from that hurt that I've pursued this subject in study, and find this viral video in error. Raise your daughters well. Teach them to know what a good man is (by Biblical standards, not your own). Realize that suitors coming calling for your daughter are human too. And maybe, just maybe, be a little less rude.
I usually love humorous videos and paradies. Their irony and ability to speak truth are impressive. But there's a new video going around that reminds me of a "debate" I once had about the age of accountability. While I may (not saying I was, especially now looking back) have been right in every point I made, I later found out that the person on the other side of the discussion had lost loved ones at really young ages. No, that experience does not change the truth, and the truth does need to be spoken, but not at the expense of someone else. Instead of building someone up in their faith, it tears them down. This video makes an effort to speak authority to a world that wants no authority, and for that I commend it. But to those who have fought the battle against abusive authority, it comes across much different than I believe the author intended.
So I'll do my best to ignore it, not aid in it's passing along, and stay mute except for this effort to remind people of the messages they send and the audience who they send it to.
This is the downside to "social" media, right? A sterile, "I don't know you well enough," "lob anything that I like at anyone, regardless of what they might think/feel," culture. It's what reflects you, right? Unless you somehow have amazing filters setup. (I.e. Post to group: "married, so they won't mind photos of couples", "have kids, so endless photos of babies are ok.", etc. If you do this, kudos for being a social media freak.) I know I'm in the minority on this one. It's hard to watch this get passed around by so many people, especially good friends.
I probably shouldn't be writing right now, I'm still slightly numb from the anesthetic from a trip to the dentist. In fact, it just took me 4 attempts to properly turn what is now that comma to one from a period. Bear with me.
Today, I had an interesting experience. From 9:38AM to 3:36PM, I remember NOTHING. This was unfortunate, because my dentist appointment took from 8:10AM to 9:30AM. Oh well. But while I remembered nothing, I did many things. I texted my sister-in-law, who talked me into this appointment anyway. My brother picked me up and drove me home, though he tells me I walked out of the office, opened the car door and sat myself down at home. I even remembered to tell him I could have tylenol, but not ibuprofen. Yet I don't remember telling him that.
And then this afternoon, after I realized this had happened, it hit me... Does God judge us for what we do in our sub-conscience? When we're not awake? I think Matt. 5:28 makes it pretty clear:
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
What really interested me, though, was what I did while I wasn't cognizant I was doing it. I knew not to take ibuprofen. If I hadn't, I'd likely have to be writing this from an ER. I believe that fact to be true, so much that even when I'm not "thinking," I rely on that truth. So why do I worry about what I said when I was "out"? Why did I have a knee-jerk, quick-go-check-my-text-messages-and-see-who-I-sent-to freak out? Because there are things that I may say I believe, but I do not truly believe them.
I want to get to the place where I'm not just saying what I believe is true, but actually living what is true, conscience or sub-conscience.
thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul."
- When Peace, Like a River - Horatio Gates Spafford (1873)
I love the joke that I'm all for world peace. I'll take this piece of the world, and this piece, and... Yeah, that's my evil dictator wannabe slipping out there.
But how much do we hear of the desire for peace? How much do we desire it? Just the other day, Elton John was talking about how Jesus came to bring peace. Apparently he didn't read Mat 10:34
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." - Mat 10:34
That word, peace, speaks of a harmony or accordance between two parties. Jesus didn't come to bring harmony to the world. He came to bring peace to us:
"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." - Rom 5:1
He justified us that we might no longer be at war with our Father. Not that we would no longer be at war with the world. It is broken, decaying, dying. This is not our home! How thankful I am for that! I will not seek peace with a dying world. I will not seek out it's fruit. I have peace with God, and in that I shall rest. It is well with my soul what goes on in this world, for He has orchestrated it. It is well with my soul for my soul is no longer at war with my Creator. Praise the merciful, gracious Father for the blessing of such peace.
