When You're A Christian, Everything Looks Like A Cross

You know the saying, "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail"? Something in that saying popped out at me while I was listening to a sermon that referenced Matthew 16:24:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." - Matthew 16:24 (ESV)

I come from a background that was steeped in legalism. Even though my family tried to address it well, my surroundings were more often than not about legalism. One area of that mindset that I've seen very destructive is martyring. We wouldn't call it that, though. We would call it trying to serve Him. Trying to bring Him glory. Think about this, how many sermons or discussions can you think of around Jesus and the Young Ruler? Many, for me. And the purpose? To explain that if there is anything you prize, God wants you to give it up and away. After all, it's easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter Heaven, right?

Now, I could speak to the fact that God does not want you to give everything up, sell everything off, fly to Africa, and be a missionary. Many pastors have done better in sharing that than I could. Suffice to say, God could want you to live here, give you riches, and charge you with leading and caring for people right around you. He's written what He wants you to do, given you the gifts and abilities to carry it out, so go do it.

But this martyr thing is dangerous. It counters what God says. It's dying for the sake of death, not for the sake of the cross. Let me give you an example: I had a friend who would face hard decisions in their life and make the choice for the painful one. Why? Because we have to sacrifice our wants for God's will. They would rather avoid conflict, work for a terrible boss without standing up for themselves and other employees, and many other things. The craziest I've seen is people ending relationships because it's "hard," and God's "asking them to give it up." Martyrdom at its finest. Here's what I'll agree with in that: if there is something in your life that is a higher priority than God, you need to address it and fix it. That does not mean giving it up. Using the relationship example, follow this logic:
"I find myself wanting to be around you more than I want to be in God's word." "You keep coming to mind while I'm at work and I can't get work done."
"So I'm stepping back from this relationship. I need to give it up and get right with God. He wants me to give this up."
Have you heard people talk like that? If not, just think what that sounds like to you.
Now, what would your reaction be if I were to say, "and that's a married man's comments." By setting it up as a couple in relationship, you likely made the assumption that I meant dating/courting. But once the view shifts to marriage, the impression changes. "No, that's not right," we think. "They need to get their priorities right, but God says that you should not leave a marriage." The action causes you to cross God's design for marriage. It sounds right and good to acknowledge and address the sin, but this is not a repentance, it's an avoidance. Can you imagine the Well Married Young Ruler walking up to Jesus and Jesus saying, "divorce your wife and follow Me?" I can't.
I know that there's some magical switch that flips between dating/courting and when you're married. That is not an excuse to cross God's intentions, though.

Let me give two Biblical examples that come to mind of people promising things that cross God and then coming through because that's what they promised.

29 Then the Spirit of the Lord was upon Jephthah, and he passed through Gilead and Manasseh and passed on to Mizpah of Gilead, and from Mizpah of Gilead he passed on to the Ammonites. 30 And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, 31 then whatever[a] comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the Lord's, and I will offer it[b] up for a burnt offering.” - Judges 11:29-31 (ESV)

This sounds good, right? I think he and his daughter, who becomes the victim of this, do an admirable job holding to the vow he makes to God. I do not think his vow is in line with what God expects of him. Before we glorify this guy for having the Spirit of God with him (therefore, he must be a great, God honoring guy, right?), look at the passage setup:

1 Now Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty warrior, but he was the son of a prostitute. Gilead was the father of Jephthah. 2 And Gilead's wife also bore him sons. And when his wife's sons grew up, they drove Jephthah out and said to him, “You shall not have an inheritance in our father's house, for you are the son of another woman.” 3 Then Jephthah fled from his brothers and lived in the land of Tob, and worthless fellows collected around Jephthah and went out with him. - Judges 11:1-3 (ESV)

As my pastor so oftenly comments, God can use the most whacked out families to do amazing things. Fully agree with that, but just read Judges 11 in full. You'll find verses like "21 And the Lord, the God of Israel, gave Sihon and all his people into the hand of Israel, and they defeated them. So Israel took possession of all the land of the Amorites, who inhabited that country." This is not the work of Jephthah, this is the work of God. But Jephthah's vow speaks of earning God's favor. God was already giving these people into Jephthah's hands to defeat them. This vow, at the very least, was not needed. At worst, it goes counter to God's view of life. It does not say, like in Abraham's case, that God called him to sacrifice his offspring. No where in priestly and Levitical law will you find sacrificing children. In fact, God abhorred the people groups that Israel encountered that practiced such traditions (and often judged that people group for those evils). This was a vow done to "earn God's favor." I'll go so far as to say that this vow was sinful.

Now another example.

1 One day Jonathan the son of Saul said to the young man who carried his armor, “Come, let us go over to the Philistine garrison on the other side.” But he did not tell his father. 2 Saul was staying in the outskirts of Gibeah in the pomegranate cave[a] at Migron. The people who were with him were about six hundred men" - 1 Samuel 14:1-2 (ESV)

First thing I notice is that Saul has a small army. When you're leading a small army (especially in the Bible), you have a 50/50 chance of them doing something good (trusting God) or something bad (trying to make things happen without God, or worse, try to make God do what you want). Second, you have Jonathan doing things that his father didn't know about. Yet another broken family. Jonathan definitely had faith that God was with him,

8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them. 9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them. 10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the Lord has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.” - 1 Samuel 14:8-10 (ESV)

And Saul knew that following what God had told them was good,

18 So Saul said to Ahijah, “Bring the ark of God here.” For the ark of God went at that time with the people[f] of Israel. 19 Now while Saul was talking to the priest, the tumult in the camp of the Philistines increased more and more. So Saul said to the priest, “Withdraw your hand.” 20 Then Saul and all the people who were with him rallied and went into the battle. And behold, every Philistine's sword was against his fellow, and there was very great confusion. - 1 Samuel 14:18-20 (ESV)

The ark of God was a symbol of God's presence. I think this is Saul saying, "we're going into battle with God in our midst." This is not the first or last time a leader of Israel tries this, but God at least honors that Saul remembers Him in this way. But, then, Saul does something that once again, God does not ask for. God was already giving the Philistines into his hands, while Saul did what God had commanded of him. Yet Saul decides that's not good enough:

24 And the men of Israel had been hard pressed that day, so Saul had laid an oath on the people, saying, “Cursed be the man who eats food until it is evening and I am avenged on my enemies.” So none of the people had tasted food. - 1 Samuel 14:24 (ESV)

Ok, so your men are hard pressed, and now you're bringing a curse on them and yourself if anyone eats. I'm sure you can reason out why Saul thought this was a good idea. Maybe this was a form of fasting. God calls us to fast, right? But what is Saul's motivation? "Until it is evening and I am avenged on my enemies." And just a few verses above, note that he had counted his men and found that Jonathan and his armor bearer were not present. This is a man not thinking straight, not depending on God for victory. He's trying to make his will happen in his time in his way. It looks good, in a way, but the heart of it is evil.
And here's Jonathan's take on his father's decision,

27 But Jonathan had not heard his father charge the people with the oath, so he put out the tip of the staff that was in his hand and dipped it in the honeycomb and put his hand to his mouth, and his eyes became bright. 28 Then one of the people said, “Your father strictly charged the people with an oath, saying, ‘Cursed be the man who eats food this day.’” And the people were faint. 29 Then Jonathan said, “My father has troubled the land. See how my eyes have become bright because I tasted a little of this honey. 30 How much better if the people had eaten freely today of the spoil of their enemies that they found. For now the defeat among the Philistines has not been great.” - 1 Samuel 14:27-30 (ESV)

Really, read this whole chapter. See how closely it looks like Saul is doing what is right and good, yet how he does it out of the wrong heart. And the emphasis I want to apply here is that God did not tell Saul and his men to fast. That was Saul's idea.
As the story goes on Israel starts losing battles because the oath was not held to (God takes those seriously, even if they're badly made). Jonathan is found out, and Saul sets about putting him to death. The people stand up to this, though, saying this:

 45 Then the people said to Saul, “Shall Jonathan die, who has worked this great salvation in Israel? Far from it! As the Lord lives, there shall not one hair of his head fall to the ground, for he has worked with God this day.” So the people ransomed Jonathan, so that he did not die. 46 Then Saul went up from pursuing the Philistines, and the Philistines went to their own place. - 1 Samuel 14:45-46 (ESV)

Jonathan actually was working out of the trust in God. He knew God was delivering these people into their hands. His question was not if, but how. Was it to be just himself and his armor bearer? And God used him in that. Saul tried to buy God's favor by vowing a curse on anyone who ate. Who really walked in faith? Even the people saw this and spoke of it.

I like how the ESV labels these sections. "Saul's Foolish vow", or "Saul's Rash Vow", and "Jephthah's Tragic Vow." These are not good decisions these men made. "Foolish," sounds especially right, because God was already doing a work through them. These men determined that was not enough. God needed something more from them. It is an honor to make such a sacrifice for God, right? To take something that means a lot to us, or that we take for granted (food) and deny ourselves it to show that we rely on Him, right? Yes, too broad a brush stroke to say that in all cases that is wrong. But if it comes from a heart of trying to buy God, it is wrong.
So why the title? Is it wrong to sacrifice things? No. Jesus gave us a good list of things that will turn against us, mock us, persecute us, etc. when we follow Him. He said fathers will turn against sons and vice versa. It might be that you have to sacrifice that, but only in so much as it furthers His kingdom. If your father refutes and destroys your faith (C.S. Lewis speaks very well of this situation in his book, The Four Loves), you're going to have to sacrifice agreeing with your father to follow Jesus. But if your father agrees with your faith and you decide that God is asking you to break off all communication with him because you prioritize his opinion above God's, I think you step into error. Fix the priority issue, and then keep loving your father. And fathers? It works the exact same way in the opposite direction. Mothers and daughters, just the same.
Cane and Able gave similar gifts, but Able had God's favor (and all he did was do what God requested, giving his first fruits).
We don't have to find areas to sacrifice to God. He doesn't want our children, our relationships, our jobs, our money, etc. He wants to be Lord. He wants you to do what He said for you to do. He wants our obedience, not our abundance. We don't have to make up crosses, He's already told us what ours is. He wants us to follow after Him, not try to bridle or harness Him. It's impossible, and thereby difficult, to follow His commands alone. That's what He's called us to. I hope, I really hope, to see a generation that seeks after Him, and His word, and stops seeking extra-Biblical God encounters.

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As He Was Traveling

Don't you love how little things pop out at you as you read? And in the Bible, we know because God said in the Bible, that that is the work of the Holy Spirit. This morning as the men's bible study I meet with was talking through love, we visited the story of the Good Samaritan. I know a lot of people know that story, I've heard it since I was very young. But today, something stood out. Let me paste for you the contents of the Scripture:

25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.” 

29 But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denariic and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” 37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” - Luke 10:25-37 (ESV)

Ok, again, you've probably heard it. But as we were talking about how to love others and what that looks like, some keywords popped out. And it all starts with verse 31: "Now by chance." The second and third characters of the story show up by chance. The greek also has the meaning of "by accident." In other words, this was not where they planned to be, not the situation they expected to face. Two people groups who should have great interest in helping others, yet walk on by. The Samaritan, the one who actually helps? How does he get introduced? "As he journeyed." He had a place he was heading to. He knew where he was going. He wasn't aimless. And it seems, as he went, this was not something beyond his thinking to respond to. He was intentional, the priest and Levite were aimless and accidental.

How often do I live my life in accidental direction? How often do I wait for God to "accidentally" show up in my life? He could. He will, if He so chooses. But while that might happen, where am I going? What is my intention?

As I thought about this, I almost titled this post the "Purpose Driven Person," but there's a book on that... And I don't know, that author may have gone to this passage. I haven't read it, but it wouldn't be the first time God has brought something to my mind that someone else has. But just in case this does tread on that, it was not intentional. Just my own observations.

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Just like Joseph

So this is an interesting thought. Are we so fearful that we rely on the stories in the Bible in ways that they were not intended?

I've heard people say this: "I feel like Job," or "I'm being pursued like David." I'm as guilty as anyone, I've gone through medical issues that left me questioning a lot of things just like Job and God spoke to me through the answers He gave Job.

Are we then to use these stories as templates for our lives?

Here's what got me thinking about this. I grew up in church. Since I was little I've been hearing about Noah and Abraham and Isaac and David, and well, that list can get quite lengthy. The point being, these people's stories were told to me in such a way that I could identify with them, and in many ways, heroize them. Then my pastor had to go and do a series through Genesis and blow up every idolization I had in these mere God followers. Jacob was kinda a real idiot. Abraham wasn't that great a guy. They all sinned. They all did things their own way at times. Even my favorite, Joseph, can be portrayed in a bad light (thanks Mark Z.).

Yet they're listed in the Hall of Faith. "By Faith," each one is listed as one who did something that God called them to.

Interesting how that sentence ends, though. These stories are less about these men and their circumstances and what they went through, but more about God's faithfulness. These men did things against what God told them to do many times. Yet God has never done anything against what He has said He will do. These men's stories are not there for us to go, "Man, I feel like I'm in a real Nineveh right now," but to say, "Whether I'm in Nineveh or the Promised Land, my God has called me to live this way and trust Him. I will do that." You may be in Sodom and Gomorrah and you think you're in Jerusalem. You may think you're in Egypt and God's got you in Jericho. His ways are not our ways, and we cannot know that, even as we look back, to see what was God and what was not. All we know are the truths that God will do what He has said He will do.

I say this because I think I have used these stories to cling to hope in a defined God instead of clinging to an undefined God. It's like saying, "I know you can speak through burning bushes and writing on the wall, that you heal the sick, part the sea, and a number of numerous other things. Please just do what you've done in the past so I can know you're there and trust you in this." He's called people to missions in far reaches of the globe, and we get fearful that He might send us to some other place. We should be more fearful that if we subject our lives to Him, he would not send us across the globe as we have seen done, but rather use your life to effect things in a new way which none of us has ever seen.

Embracing the unknown has never been my thing. I like control. I like to know where I'm going and how I'm getting there. But there is no template for your life. There is no master plan you can look at to answer where you're going and why. All you know is that He has a plan for you that will give you a hope and a future. He has promised this against Himself, the only infallible thing in the universe. We are called to trust in that and believe Him, and to do what He has spoken. Nothing much more scary than that, from a personal wants/risks perspective, but nothing better for your life than that.

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Feeling the Wind

Many people who know me in real life know that I have a thing for anything fast. My mother is not one of those. She's still wondering where the quiet, "reserved" Daniel from of yesteryear went. I don't know that many people know what it is that thrills me about speed, though. I got into a conversation with my counselor where this came up, and I thought I'd share it.
I've always loved the wind. Riding in the car with the windows down is one of the best ways I experience wind. But what is wind? We look through air all the time. I'm doing it right now looking at the screen as I type and couldn't regard it less. Yet it's there. I feel it blowing against my skin as the fan moves it around. It goes into my lungs rich with oxygen and exits taking poisonous gases with it. It's doing very critical things to my life, and I regard it with a mere breath.
Now if you put enough air together, going in the same direction, you feel it as wind. That's critical right there. You feel it. You're forced to acknowledge its presence. It's undeniable. I feel it going 60 down the highway. I've felt it going 75 on a jetski. I've felt it going 120 MPH. The faster, the more you're enveloped. The more it demands your attention. The more it takes away your breath.

Wind is how I remind myself of God. It may not be a pillar of fire or cloud, it may not be an alter. But it reminds me of His presence. He's here, surrounding me. He is impacting my life in more ways than I'll ever know. And often, I regard him with little more than an occasional prayer. If He were to leave me, I would be snuffed out. And the more I lean into Him, the more I experience His presence. The more I see His power.

I love going fast. Adrenaline dumps into my system. More than anything, though, is the presence I feel as I'm wrapped up by my loving Savior as we charge forward through life together.

Now what analogy can I come up with for speed limits and officers who enforce them... ;)

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Beautifully Broken Jars

Last night I was listening to a good friend of mine give a message on suffering and pain. He spoke from 2 Corinthians 4, and his reminder struck me as beautiful. Look at what Paul wrote:

"7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:7-12

They're called "earthen jars", or jars made of earth. He's speaking very directly of our earthly bodies in the analogy of jars. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd carry treasure around in clay jars. Something just nags at me that withdrawing all my money and putting them in terracotta pots would not end well. But maybe that's the intention. In this scripture, the treasure we have is hope. I mean, look at what all Paul says we may/will go through, so that the hope, the manifestation of Jesus, would be shown?

When I heard "jars of clay", after thinking of the CCM band, I thought of Gideon and his 300 hundred men. You know the story, right? Starts out with a lot of men- Actually, scratch that, he starts out with a lot of doubt and questioning of God. Then after getting that out of the way, he gathers the warriors of Israel. Thousands of fighting men. God speaks and says, "to make my glory known, we're going to cut that number down." Gideon has to be thinking, "I was kinda comfortable having all these guys. We're untrained and outnumbered already," but he does what God says to do. Through various curious methods of elimination (my favorite: "any of you afraid? Go home."), the number gets cut down to around 300 men. Then God arms them. They take clay pots and put torches in them. They surround the enemy camp with their lights dark until the horn is blown and then they smash the jars. Bam, all their light is poured out. The glory of God is made known to the world in the destruction of the jars.

I wonder how many warriors went, "Hmm... Can't we just pull our torch out and shine it? I mean, do we really have to destroy this nice clay jar?" Maybe even thinking, "Hey, I worked hard to make this jar! I could use it to move water, or wine, or oil."

People don't often understand Christians when they deal with suffering and loss. We're grieved. We become saddened and moved. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, after all. But we have a hope. And when we are tested, when our jars are chipped and cracked, our hope shines out. Are in that, darkness runs and hides. As we are tested, His glory shines through. In our death, His life is released. What a beautiful, broken vessel we are, that He can redeem our pain and suffering.

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Compromising on Truth

Isn't it interesting that the Father didn't chase down the prodigal son? He didn't force him to return home. He did stand watching, every day, for His son to return.

For a controlling person like me, it makes me wonder if He sent letters. If the town the son went to was full of chatter of this person who treated His servants so well. Was that what brought to mind in the son's head and heart how well His father cared for people? Did the Father fear, like I do, that the son would choose a mid-point. Something that seemed as good as the truth, but was not truly home? This world of compromise wears heavily on my trust that we will seek and know the truth.

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Rude Comparison

You know what I'm not? A father. I am a big brother. They're not the same, I realize that. I don't know what it's like to feel like a father who wants to protect his daughter. I do know what it's like to be a big brother who wants nothing but the best for his little (and big) sisters.

On that note, let me address a song that's gone viral and a song on the Top 40 list.
First is the original song, "Rude" by Magic! It's a catchy song, and I'll admit it got caught in my head more than once. Who can't like the reggae beat? Short summary of the song: Young man wants to marry girl, puts on his best and goes to ask her father for his permission to marry her. The father says no, not 'til the day the suitor dies, to which the suitor asks why he has to be so rude, admits he's human too, and then declares he'll marry the father's daughter anyway, no matter what the father says.

Ok, the good:
I can't believe I'm going to pick apart a Top 40 song, but here goes. The guy starts off by putting on his best suit. This is an act of honor toward the father. He doesn't tumble out of bed, run his hands through his hair and jump in his car to go talk to the girl's father. His intentions are good, it appears, and his actions back him up. The singer calls the father an "old-fashioned man," and yet this "new-fangled" young man is willing to respect him and ask for permission.
For the rest of my life. In a day and age when marriage is being pushed off until later and later, and one-night-stands and flings are the thing, this guy wants to marry the girl and knows that that means forever. More kudos to the suitor.
Further down, we find that the suitor at least claims that the father's daughter loves him in return. So much that she's willing to go anywhere with him. In other words, if he so choose (and he does later) he could run off with the daughter without asking for her father's blessing.
He's going to marry her. A lot like the "rest of my life" statement, at least he's honorable enough to marry her and not just run off.

The bad:
I'll just start off with him saying "I'm gonna marry her anyway." That just doesn't sound like a good move. I've been there. You're asking for a lot of pain and strife going that route.
Considering permission an "old-fashioned" thing. I could write a whole post on this topic alone. Suffice it to say, I don't think a father protecting his daughter is an old-fashioned thing.
Running away. Real men stand up. Real men face the challenge. Threatening to take the father's daughter to "another galaxy" is not exactly helpful to the situation.
The father wanting nothing of it. I mean, that's the point of the song, right? It's not, "Let's talk about it." It's not, "I'm concerned about your future with her." It's just no. I've been on the other side of this, and this is one of the most disheartening things you can do to an (honorable) young man: shut it down and deny him a chance. Pro tip: this just creates more resentment and encourages him to take drastic action.

Alright, so that's the current pop hit. Kudos to Magic! for putting out a song without profanity and showing some honor and respect and getting to the Top 40.

Now, here's the second song: RUDE Cover (The Dad's Side Of The Story)

Humorous, right?

But one, just one statement in there earns the author this blog post: "I may be a Christian but I'll go to prison [..]"

If the author had not mentioned that, I'd give him a pass on just parenting badly. But if you claim to be a Christian, you're asking fellow believers to hold you to the standard you profess. Humor or no.

I've read that the author got hung up on the suitor declaring that he'd marry the father's daughter anyway, and as I mentioned earlier, from a protection standpoint that makes sense. But he adds a lot to the story of "why", and I don't find any of those reasons in the Bible.

"Seeking permission to marry my princess", ok, back to not having experience as a father. But I would call my little sister a "princess", and that's who she is in my heart. But I've seen this attitude in Christian parents. Idolization of the children. Yes, she's your princess, but she's human too. Fallen and sinful just like him, and just like you.

"Son what’s wrong with your big head

It’s the first time I've met you

Why would I let you

Run off with my baby girl" - This doesn't jibe with the original song. That speaks of the father's daughter being in love with the suitor and the suitor knowing that the father was an "old-fashioned" kinda guy. Guys should be pursuing a relationship with the parents of the girl he loves. He needs to know what the father thinks, how she was raised, and to show them honor and respect. It's a stretch either way, but the author made the assumption one way, I'll make a case for the opposite.

"You say you want my daughter for the rest of your life

Well you gotta make more than burgers and fries"

And this is where I started to not like this. Let me disclaim something before I address this. I'm single, I'm 27, I have a steady, well paying white-collar job, own a home of which I'm paying off a mortgage, I own my car in full, and overall I have been very responsible and fortunate in my situation.

And though I haven't found myself in such a economic position, even I take offense to this statement. What is wrong with making burgers and fries? Are those blue-collar workers not worthy of marrying your daughter? Are they to marry at all?

"Get out your momma’s basement, go and get you a life.

Son, you’re 28, don’t you think it’s time?"

This really depends. I've met guys who just won't grow up and spend their adult years in their parents house playing video games and wasting their time away. I also have an older brother and several friends who stayed with my parents for years after college, benefitting from the economical situation (let alone the global economic situation overall). They were mature and ready to marry their wives when they did. In fact, I believe they were able to better care for their wives due to the benefits of having saved more money while living with their family. Once again, the author assumes that the guy is a bum, and I argue that that is not always the case.

"Why you gotta call me rude?

I’m doin’ what a dad should do

Keep her from a fool like you"

There is point and purpose to parents protecting their children. I come from circles where parents don't let their children make choices, they make the choices for their children. Even after they're grown adults. God called parents to raise up a child in the way they should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it. Some versions use "train up" in place of "raise up". Teach. Train. Give your daughter the wisdom to make that choice on her own. That's wise parenting. Telling them what to do all the time is lazy parenting. Not that it's not intensive, but that when it comes to what your responsibility actually is, you're failing. If she grows up and you die, will she be able to take care of herself? If she marries, you die, and her husband dies, can she take care of herself?  It’s important for daughters to know that they have the tools necessary to survive out in the world on their own, and for parents in turn to realize that they have to let their grown adult children go at some point to discover that world and keep growing in maturity and responsibility. 

"And if you marry her anyway

you marry that girl

I'm gonna punch your face

You marry that girl,

I’ll make you go away.

You marry that girl,

you're in the bottom of a lake."

Ok, so as Christians, we believe that marriage is forever. As in ever. I hate to tell you this, fathers everywhere, but if your daughter enters into a covenant with someone, your responsibility is not to "punch the husband in the face," "make him go away," or have him end up "in the bottom of a lake" No, now your job is to make sure that they hold to that Biblical covenant and treat each other as a husband and wife should treat each other, and to cover them in prayer. Were they foolish to go around you? Yes. Does that mean that they'll likely be foolish in other aspects of their lives? Maybe. So how about covering them in prayer and being involved in their lives to encourage and direct them toward a life pursuing the image of Christ?

"You may not get this, so let me explain it

Cause you need to understand

This is forever, she deserves better

She really needs a grown man"

In the original song, the suitor understands that this is forever. Really what you're doing here is threatening him that if he does this, they'll be married forever and you'll hold it against them forever. Him marrying your daughter may not be a "grown man" move, but neither is your attitude.

"I know what you're thinkin’

You think you’ll still take her

Well give it your best shot

I may be a Christian but I’ll go to prison

I’m not scared of doing hard time"

I know what you're thinkin', you think you're laying your life on the line for your daughter. We've all heard the jokes of the dad polishing up the 22 gauge when the young man comes calling. The fear of God does need to be instilled in the young love birds, but you're conveying a message to your daughter and this young man that is the least helpful for anyone.

The parody is built up in judgement against the suitor. Mostly for status, situation, and position. No wonder people outside our faith call us judgemental and hypocritical. None of those are what the Bible takes into consideration when it comes to selecting a spouse. If the lyrics had mentioned something about not being a Christian, about not pursuing a life in the image of Christ, which 1 Timothy 3 might work well for comparison, I wouldn't have so much to write on. Yes, this post is written out of hurt from being on the other side of a father much like what this song shows, but it's from that hurt that I've pursued this subject in study, and find this viral video in error. Raise your daughters well. Teach them to know what a good man is (by Biblical standards, not your own). Realize that suitors coming calling for your daughter are human too. And maybe, just maybe, be a little less rude.

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Rude Awakening

I usually love humorous videos and paradies. Their irony and ability to speak truth are impressive. But there's a new video going around that reminds me of a "debate" I once had about the age of accountability. While I may (not saying I was, especially now looking back) have been right in every point I made, I later found out that the person on the other side of the discussion had lost loved ones at really young ages. No, that experience does not change the truth, and the truth does need to be spoken, but not at the expense of someone else. Instead of building someone up in their faith, it tears them down. This video makes an effort to speak authority to a world that wants no authority, and for that I commend it. But to those who have fought the battle against abusive authority, it comes across much different than I believe the author intended.

So I'll do my best to ignore it, not aid in it's passing along, and stay mute except for this effort to remind people of the messages they send and the audience who they send it to.

This is the downside to "social" media, right? A sterile, "I don't know you well enough," "lob anything that I like at anyone, regardless of what they might think/feel," culture. It's what reflects you, right? Unless you somehow have amazing filters setup. (I.e. Post to group: "married, so they won't mind photos of couples", "have kids, so endless photos of babies are ok.", etc. If you do this, kudos for being a social media freak.)


I know I'm in the minority on this one. It's hard to watch this get passed around by so many people, especially good friends.

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Know The Truth

I probably shouldn't be writing right now, I'm still slightly numb from the anesthetic from a trip to the dentist. In fact, it just took me 4 attempts to properly turn what is now that comma to one from a period. Bear with me.

Today, I had an interesting experience. From 9:38AM to 3:36PM, I remember NOTHING. This was unfortunate, because my dentist appointment took from 8:10AM to 9:30AM. Oh well. But while I remembered nothing, I did many things. I texted my sister-in-law, who talked me into this appointment anyway. My brother picked me up and drove me home, though he tells me I walked out of the office, opened the car door and sat myself down at home. I even remembered to tell him I could have tylenol, but not ibuprofen. Yet I don't remember telling him that.

And then this afternoon, after I realized this had happened, it hit me... Does God judge us for what we do in our sub-conscience? When we're not awake? I think Matt. 5:28 makes it pretty clear:

"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

What really interested me, though, was what I did while I wasn't cognizant I was doing it. I knew not to take ibuprofen. If I hadn't, I'd likely have to be writing this from an ER. I believe that fact to be true, so much that even when I'm not "thinking," I rely on that truth. So why do I worry about what I said when I was "out"? Why did I have a knee-jerk, quick-go-check-my-text-messages-and-see-who-I-sent-to freak out? Because there are things that I may say I believe, but I do not truly believe them.

I want to get to the place where I'm not just saying what I believe is true, but actually living what is true, conscience or sub-conscience.

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What I'm Reading: How To Be Content But Not Complacent

The Gospel Coalition: How To Be Content But Not Complacent

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Biblical Peace

When peace like a river attendeth my way,

[..] 

 thou hast taught me to say, "It is well, it is well with my soul."

- When Peace, Like a River - Horatio Gates Spafford (1873)

I love the joke that I'm all for world peace. I'll take this piece of the world, and this piece, and... Yeah, that's my evil dictator wannabe slipping out there.

But how much do we hear of the desire for peace? How much do we desire it? Just the other day, Elton John was talking about how Jesus came to bring peace. Apparently he didn't read Mat 10:34

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." - Mat 10:34

That word, peace, speaks of a harmony or accordance between two parties. Jesus didn't come to bring harmony to the world. He came to bring peace to us:

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." - Rom 5:1

He justified us that we might no longer be at war with our Father. Not that we would no longer be at war with the world. It is broken, decaying, dying. This is not our home! How thankful I am for that! I will not seek peace with a dying world. I will not seek out it's fruit. I have peace with God, and in that I shall rest. It is well with my soul what goes on in this world, for He has orchestrated it. It is well with my soul for my soul is no longer at war with my Creator. Praise the merciful, gracious Father for the blessing of such peace.

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Don't Miss the Gospel Amongst the Verses

If you think that all the scriptures on marriage are just for the married and are not the Gospel, you're missing the point. If verses on adoption are only for those considering becoming a parent in a different way, you're missing the Gospel of our own orphanhood. The Bible does teach us how to live life under the law and to God's glory, but the Bible is not a Self-Help book. It is an I've-Been-Changed book.

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Image Bearers

Do you change how you act while you're at work? Do you feel a responsibility to behave well while you represent your employer to vendors or coworkers or customers? You bear the responsibility of your employer's image.

So do you behave differently because you bear the responsibility of bearing the image of God? Does it change how you act and treat people?

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Fear of Divorce

There's been an article going around (I originally saw it here) about how our statistics that divorce inside the church is the same as outside is wrong. It's not 50% like it is outside the church, it's closer to 27%. Wow, right? That's still a sad number, but you'd agree it's a bit different, right?

But while we're admiring that great statistical error, ask this question with me for a moment? What has been the context you've heard that statistic provided in the most? For me, a young, single Christian adult, it's been in relation to finding the right mate. Equally yoked (which apparently means someone very much like you)! Find someone who you can serve with well! Find someone you get along with well! She has to attend the church! We don't do dating well! If we did it better, our divorce rate would be better inside the church than it is outside the church!
Recently I heard a sermon by a pastor I greatly respect, and he advised not to settle. You know what that all inspires? Fear.

Is it any surprise that the average age for marriage is getting higher and higher? Keep looking, everyone, you wouldn't want to make the wrong choice and deal with the consequences! Right??

Am I the only one who finds this counter to the spirit God calls us into? It makes us timid, not bold. It makes us fear ourselves, other people, even God (and not in the right way). We're saying that God is not sovereign over relationships, it's up to us to do the hard work to build the perfect relationship.

A lot of my friends have heard this phrase from me "due diligence." I want, and feel called, to give my best effort and perform my due diligence. So am I advocating throwing caution to the wind and marry whomever? Of course not. But you don't find verses of fear in the Bible about finding a spouse. In fact, there's not much in the Bible about finding a spouse, except that you find a good thing when you get one, equal yoking, and a measuring stick, if you will, of Christian character. Those are not fearful things. In fact, they're pretty simple things. Do they fear God? Are they saved the only true savior Jesus the Christ? Is he a man of integrity? Will she be a good mother? And within that, you have a bit of relativity.

You know what drives me absolutely bonkers about listening to people talk about the spouse they want to have? It's about themselves. What is the point and purpose of marriage?? My pastor described a really awesome marriage ceremony: a bride and groom holding cocked guns to each other's heads during the vows. That is the seriousness and reality of the power you're handing your spouse. And your job is to take that gun off her head and say, "You've given me the ability to wreck your life, and I choose to serve you, not pull this trigger." And dear Lord, do you hope she'll say the same thing. (Fear again, right? Marriage takes bravery!) It's not about either of you, anyway. It's about His glory. It's about showing Him honor in the way you treat her. It's about serving her the way God has served you. It's not about you! That's what I wish the church was preaching on more than the divorce rate.

How much have we watered down our covenant. When you say "I do," are you actually agreeing to a covenant? Or are you saying, "While I feel good about this, I'll hold to this." "While I'm getting what I want out of this, I'll serve her." It's not about you! And your word is worthless at that point. Do you know the legitimate reasons for divorce in the Bible?

• In the case of consistent, unrepentant immorality
• When an unbelieving spouse deserts a believer.

Even then, Jesus says God had Moses author those because "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." (Matt 19:8).

I have a bet as to why we don't preach or talk about that... It hurts, it's dangerous. I know friends who come from broken homes. This means their parents did something against God's plan. They see life as better because their parents broke up. "It was hell on earth with them married." Fair enough, but those are other sins that should have been address. Those sins did not justify the sin of unBiblical divorce.

You know what twinge just went through me as I wrote that paragraph? Fear of divorce. If I'm not careful, I'll marry someone who I'll want to divorce later. It's THAT programmed into me! No, not me. I fear God. He has gotten me through relationship that I'd rather run from than face and address. He didn't command me to give up, He commanded me to love them. Got a husband/father who's failing you/the family? You're not supposed to leave, you're supposed to love. Got a wife who is nagging and can't seem to get her life together? Love, don't leave. You have been empowered to love. Do you realize that? You have the Holy Spirit in you and you can face those trials. It is within you. You can either do it or fail. And when you fail, God's grace will cover. So be bold. Live and love boldly. Live in the power and station that your savior put you in through His death. Doesn't that seem more like the boldness our Biblical heroes lived in?

Or... Ya know... Fear that 50% divorce rate. If that works for you.

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I Solemnly Swear

You know what's curious to me? The concept of swearing. No, not the type of speech we have developed as a new form of punctuation. Let's take a look at the definitions.

solemn |ˈsäləm|
adjective
formal and dignified: a solemn procession.
• not cheerful or smiling; serious: Tim looked very solemn.
• characterized by deep sincerity: he swore a solemn oath to keep faith.

swear |swe(ə)r|
verb (swears, swearing; past swore |swôr| ; past participle sworn |swôrn| )
1 [ reporting verb ] make a solemn statement or promise undertaking to do something or affirming that something is the case: [ with clause ] : Maria made me swear I would never tell anyone | I swear by all I hold dear that I had nothing to do with it | [ with infinitive ] : he swore to obey the rules | [ with direct speech ] : “Never again,” she swore, “will I be short of money” | [ with obj. ] : they were reluctant to swear allegiance.
• [ with obj. ] take (an oath): he forced them to swear an oath of loyalty to him.
• [ with obj. ] take a solemn oath as to the truth of (a statement): I asked him if he would swear a statement to this effect.
• [ with obj. ] make (someone) promise to observe a certain course of action: I've been sworn to secrecy.

Sounds serious and sincere. Speaking of, let's grab those definitions too:

sincere |sinˈsi(ə)r|
adjective (sincerer, sincerest)
free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings: they offer their sincere thanks to Paul.
• (of a person) saying what they genuinely feel or believe; not dishonest or hypocritical.

serious |ˈsi(ə)rēəs|
adjective
1 (of a person) solemn or thoughtful in character or manner: her face grew serious.
• (of a subject, state, or activity) demanding careful consideration or application: marriage is a serious matter.
• (of thought or discussion) careful or profound: we give serious consideration to safety recommendations.
• (of music, literature, or other art forms) requiring deep reflection and inviting a considered response: he bridges the gap between serious and popular music.
2 acting or speaking sincerely and in earnest, rather than in a joking or halfhearted manner: suddenly he wasn't teasing any more—he was deadly serious | actors who are serious about their work.
3 significant or worrying because of possible danger or risk; not slight or negligible: she escaped serious injury | Haydn was Mozart's only serious rival.
4 [ attrib. ] informal substantial in terms of size, number, or quality: he suddenly had serious money to spend | a serious chocolate cheesecake.

Ok, so now that we've had our daily dose of dictionary, let's move forward. I think for me, the one that stood out the most and in a way is the root of all of that is "sincere." The act of being genuine and not dishonest (the dictionary used a double negative...).

Where do we see this used? A few things come to mind, like a courtroom. That makes sense, right? When seeking justice, we want those providing witness to be honest and genuine. We also swear in our President. Again, it would be a good thing if he's an honest and genuine guy. What about weddings? Vows are sworn oaths, right? We certainly hope that when a bride and groom get up there they mean what they say about loving and caring for each other 'til death do they part.

But am I alone in feeling like the meaning of an oath is coming up more and more empty? Our elected officials say one thing, and do another. Our marriages only last as long as we want them to. The courtroom seems to be moving more toward "empirical" evidence of video and DNA and other media. Are we not concerned that the word of man has become something we cannot depend on?

Allow me to theorize for a moment about why that is. I like my history, though I hated it in school. Give me a biography and I'm happy. Quiz me on dates and I'd rather visit the dentist. I remember reading things where people still believed that an answer they gave under oath would be held to them when they died. That's why we have the symbology of the Bible used in swearing in a witness (not always anymore) or President. It was man acknowledging that they were held to the authority of a being greater than any man. A deity who was present during the crime or statement given. Someone we could not just convince with eloquent speech or clever words. Especially in the office of the President, of which it's hard to say there is a person over him in power. We certainly hope he acknowledges that his decisions are held accountable to someone more powerful than him.

But what if we don't believe that? What if God doesn't hold us to these things? We lose our basis for speaking truth. We speak what is convenient to us. We are allowed to let the ends justify the means. We cannot trust witnesses, and therefore require the invasion of people's lives so that we have evidence beyond what was said. It really doesn't surprise us anymore when political officers lie to us. And our marriages. That one hurts me the most... I don't come from a broken home, that nice term for a family that has gone through divorce. No, I'm not against divorce, the Bible does give reasons for justifiable divorce. But when we divorce for reasons other than those in the Bible... Our oaths mean nothing. Our covenants are meaningless.

I'm guilty of saying what's convenient. I've slick-talked my way through situations to get my way. Manipulation comes to me way more easily than I would like to admit.

The Bible has a bunch of interesting examples of men giving oaths. Including some very stupid ones like Saul swearing that his men will not eat at all until they conquered their enemy (great idea, that one...) and then his son, unaware of this oath, eats some honey. God holds Saul to his oath and Israel is defeated. When Saul finds out who broke the oath, it takes the men of his army standing up for Jonathan and not letting Saul come through on his oath. Or the Jephthah giving oath that when he returned victorious to his home, he would offer up what or whomever came out his door first. That ended up being his daughter, and he came through on that oath.

Weird, crazy oaths there. But God takes them seriously. Do we?

Number 30:2 seems to be pretty clear about how God commands us to treat oaths and vows: "If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth."

James 5:12 builds off of that, taking it from swearing to simple "yes" and "no":

"But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation."

For me, the greatest challenge I read in this is to be careful of my oaths, and to mean what I say. In a day and age where we'll just say what helps us get what we want, what's convenient, what people want to hear, while losing integrity and the seriousness of consequences for not holding to it... I want to stand different. But can I solemnly swear?

-DH

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But By Grace

So... Here I am, randomly writing about things... I think I've noticed a theme to what I tend to write about, and that's fear. Fear that I've dealt with. Fear that invades my life. Fear of almost anything except what I should truly fear. I'm telling you, one day I'll write about dentists! But why this blog? Why this writing?
First, let me explain that I am no one in particular. I haven't gone to seminary, I'm not a big shot, big-wig who's leading hundreds of employees. In fact, I have just about nothing to claim to my name. I have a bachelors of science in information technology, that's kinda cool, right? Admit it, it just makes you feel more sorry for the fact that I'm hosting this on Blogger.
I guess part of me wants to speak up to some of the things we don't seem to talk to a lot. Or things we just don't want to address. And for those who know me, it might come as a shock but I'm not always that extroverted. It's true, I love to be around people. I am happiest when those around me are taken care of. But I'm continuing to grow in learning how to open up and engage with people without falling back to focusing on myself as a safe zone. So bringing up these topics, especially when they might feel pointed at someone, is not something I do easily. This is a place I hope to write up some of my thoughts and "practice," if you will, expressing what I understand.
One of the things I'm already battling in my head is that this is just turning into a "whine and complain to the world" blog. I've already written several posts about "don't do this!" and the attitude is that I'm speaking to the audience as if I do this or understand this, and they need to get their act together. Maybe I need to adjust my writing style a bit, I'm still trying to figure that out. Mostly because these are a bit of a collection of thoughts to myself. "Daniel, stop doing this!" "Daniel, you know better." "Daniel, remember that blog post you wrote?..." There isn't a thing I've written here yet that doesn't apply to me just as much as I'd encourage and challenge someone else with it.
Lastly, I think we need to do better. I'm not a perfectionist. The blog title means "but by grace," and I know that we all need grace. But I want to try to live life boldly. In a way that is dependant on Him and His grace. I will fail. I have. But instead of sitting quietly trying to keep from needing grace (impossible), I'd rather step out boldly and live my faith, knowing when I fail, He is there to catch me. If you read this, I hope it inspires you to live boldly too. If nothing else, know you're not alone in these thoughts.

-DH

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Weary Soldier

I don't think we respond to people well when it comes to how busy they are. I've heard the sermons about how we've made idols of work and friends and family. I get that we can easily misplace our priority. I'm guilty of it, that's how I know. But what has captured my attention is how people have come to respond to people who express weariness. Most responses I've heard to that float somewhere around, "well gee, no wonder! You're so busy! You should pull back, or take a break, etc."
I love these people. I believe they truly mean well with these words, but they rarely help me. I mean, granted, by the time that I'm ready to verbally express that I'm exhausted, I'm probably showing that my judgement is lapsing... But do you really think that I haven't thought about the idea to just slow down? I'm glad you're giving me your approval to do so, but was that really what I was asking for?
A friend mentioned something the other day, and it just confirmed my worry: we're under spiritual attack. I can give you many examples of times I've stepped up to do what I know is good and right and I come under heavy fire. I'm convinced that there's a force out there not happy with the idea of us doing good. Screwtape Letters, anyone? Let me try to illustrate my point.
We have a young soldier... He's deep in the trenches of the war. He's taken the brave risk upon him of pushing the front line forward, hoping this surge will allow other allies to push forward and advance the line. The enemy is all around, firing everything they have at this young man. One dark hour passes. Another one. Round after round of piercing explosions around him. Shot after shot, he pops up from his fortification and fires to keep the enemy at bay. Finally an ally, a friendly face dives into the trench next to him. "I'm glad you're here!" he yells, "I'm exhausted. They just won't stop firing!"
Ok, so how should the ally respond? How does "Hey, I'm glad you've been fighting so strongly! You've really advanced our line! Now how about you sit back and take it easy for a bit," sound? Especially if this is a hit and run, and the ally jumps out of the trenches and moves on? Do you think the enemy is going to hold up and let this man take a respite? Is that their goal? What was the purpose of the communication from the young man anyway?
If you don't like the war analogy, feel free to swap in a firefighter, police officer, and just about any other first responder. Occupations that all have an inherent pressure to them.
How about another scenario and profession? This time we have a young mother. Several years into a happy marriage, with two little kiddos. Toddlers are hard work. One needs changed and the other is trying to see how many crayons they can fit in the DVD player. Oops, was that the juice bottle that he just tipped over the laptop? And here comes her husband...
"Hey Honey, how was your day?"
"Exhausting! I feel like my day was spent running around ALL DAY!"
Queue critical question again: what is the proper response?
"Well dear, I really appreciate the work you've been doing. Mothering is hard! Why don't you just slow down? Take a rest?"
Just a clue... If you want to stay married, don't say this. At least, not this alone. I'll get back to that, first the questions. Why do you think she is expressing like she is? Did she need his permission? Does the enemy (which is not the kids, just FYI) want to allow this young mother who is influencing the next generation so strongly a chance to rest?
Can you see in these two examples how hollow this canned response is? And here's what I noticed about this trait: it's the same thing we do with people who are grieving. You just lost a loved one? It's ok, they're in a better place now. Broke up? It's ok, there's more fish in the sea. Instead of acknowledging where these people are, it's brushing them off and letting yourself feel like you've done your deed of interaction. I'm not sure it can be boiled down to this, but it seems like the root is laziness. Or avoidance of awkwardness. To sit and listen about someone's situation takes work. And there's also a possibility of being asked to step in.
And we all hate that, don't we? If I stop and listen, there's a good chance you're going to ask me to do something for you. "I appreciate the hard work you've been doing all day taking care of the kids! Let me watch over them for a bit while you clean yourself up and take a breather." "This barrage is intense. Here's some extra ammo. You stay down while I engage the enemy for a bit." (Those are responses to the two different scenarios in reverse order, just for clarification, not both in response to the mother...)
The other night I was working with one of my favorite ministries, and as usual, I'm watching to see how we can serve those who come through our doors best... Noticing that we're low on chairs and we have more people coming in, I leave my position, knowing that it's stable enough for me to set up a few extra chairs. Well, that was my plan, at least. A good friend saw me start toward this, saw what I had seen, and stopped me. She motioned that she saw what I had seen, and that she would take care of setting up the chairs. She didn't wave me off. She didn't say, "Get back to your position, everything is fine." She acknowledged the same problem I saw and undertook it herself, allowing me to stay at my assigned position, and everyone served extremely well. I still smile at this example. That's the heart of service, the synergy of teamwork, fighting along the front lines together.
I don't think people are expressing their exhaustion just looking for approval of slowing down. If they're smart enough to be doing the job in the first place, they're probably smart enough to know when to rest if they need to. But in a war, teamwork is needed, and sometimes that means stepping up and standing alongside a weary soldier.

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Where does it say that?

"God the Holy Spirit is pleased when we seek His wisdom on any subject, no matter how large or small. The Holy Spirit may answer us through the wise counsel of mature believers, circumstances, or our own godly desires, or even by speaking to us quietly in our minds." - p. 126 What Christianity Is All About, Alan Kent Scholes

What... Says who? The footnote referenced 1 Kings 19:12-13, the account of Elijah encountering God. Not the first time I've heard this used in this context. But why? Why not also throw into this list burning bushes, fingers writing on walls, and a few other ways God spoke to the Old Testament? Not that it is above God's possibility. Truly, we have at least one example of it happening. But what about the millions of Israelites who went about their day to day lives, (hopefully) following God's commandments? We don't have accounts of God directly speaking with the majority of them through still small voices, bushes, fleeces, or booming voices. It's as if God had a very simple plan for them: do His commandments. Want to know what's He's saying? Read His word. Want to know where He has your life going? Read His word.

Yet among the mature we do impart wisdom, although it is not a wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are doomed to pass away.  But we impart a secret and hidden wisdom of God, which God decreed before the ages for our glory.  None of the rulers of this age understood this, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.  But, as it is written,  “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”—    these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.  For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.  Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might understand the things freely given us by God.  And we impart this in words not taught by human wisdom but taught by the Spirit, interpreting spiritual truths to those who are spiritual.    The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.  The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one.  “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. - 1 Corinthians 2:6-16

 Did you catch the quoted scripture in there? “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him” That's Isaiah 64:4, where it is prophesied that man will not see nor understand Jesus as Christ. Why? The verse behind it explains: "When you did awesome things that we did not look for, you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence." Isaiah 64:3 We don't look for it. Paul is saying that we don't understand God's ways and that we don't look for Him. If we had/do, we wouldn't have crucified Christ. How then do we see Christ?
Through His word. Especially in our current culture, this makes sense for me. We have people fighting over what proper relationships are, what politics should be, and just constant bickering about how we should treat others. Our culture says that I should be cut-throat, beat everyone to the top, ultimate business success. At least, that's what a "worthwhile" male American should do. But God says to live life as a servant. To serve others as I would serve myself. Do you see how this conflicts with culture? Or as Paul would say it, "wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age" or "the spirit of the world."
I don't get it. When we struggle as much as we do to understand and follow what God has put into text that we can read anytime we wish, why do we hold out for God speaking in some other way, some voice that would answer our direct issues?

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments." - John 14:15

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." - John 10:27

If the scriptures are His word, than is that not also His voice? Is John 10:27 not speaking of our comprehension and understanding of what He has already spoken to us? Or is there other scriptures that tells us that His voice is something other than His word?
I struggle and fail daily to die to my flesh, which though it no longer owns me, I have to battle with until my soul and it separate. How do I know it (sinful flesh) is still attached? His word, His commandments. How do I know it no longer owns me? His word. How do I die to it? Following His word. This is my daily struggle. Not in hearing "His voice", but in following what He has spoken loudly and clearly through the ages. In His word I will dwell.

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Be Afraid of Not Fearing God

Wow. This is powerful. Fear God, not man. Live a life of character, following His commands. Not that your works will somehow earn you a better life, or that you can hold it against others, but that you have been called to live that way.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/be-afraid-not-fearing-call/id418738923?i=313183911&mt=2

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Volunteering

Do you treat volunteers like staff or robots? Are all the critical decisions saved for staff meetings only attended by those on payroll or is the vision being shaped and formed also by those who step up to the task with you, without pay?
I've seen several different types of volunteers over my time working with different organizations. Even within my day job where I earn a salaried paycheck, I've seen people volunteer extra hours. But there's one type that has always stood out to me. They're the ones that work the hardest, at least so it seems to me. And the question I've asked myself is "why?" Ultimately, I think it comes down to personal ownership.
There's many reasons to volunteer to do something. Maybe you're just bored. I know at times I'm thankful for something to do when the alternative is sitting around all day zoned out in front of a TV. Maybe you have friends there, and it's an activity to do something with your community. What about those who are seeking to improve their environment or clean up their city? All of those are good reasons, but the ones that truly amaze me are the ones that serve and get nothing from it.
I heard someone say that you should serve in the children's ministry if you have children attending the children's ministry. You take a month and spell some other parent, the next month they swap with you. Great system, and I fully support it. But what about the young single adults? I've openly admitted that I serve now while I can in hopes that someday when I have a family and cannot serve to the extent I am now, some younger, single adult will be willing to step in as I had. That's still a rather selfish motive, though. What about serving the homeless? The down and out? The third world country? These are some of the most "fruitless" (to yourself) endeavors you can pursue. It is in these examples that I think we find our best motive to serve: love. Love for those whom the world has classified as people unworthy of love, or one of our best ways of expressing it: time. When we serve these groups, we are investing in them with no hope or interest in a return. We are giving our resource of time.
I know many young adults, mostly single ones because that's my own life stage, and they talk of their financial difficulties. I know God has blessed me with my job and the salary it comes with, yet even I find myself struggling to keep it in the black. But there is one thing I have a lot of right now, while I lack commitments and responsibilities to other people: time. God calls us to use our resources to His benefit. When pastors get up to talk about giving toward the Church, I've often heard the phrase "you're not giving what is yours back to God, you're giving what is God's that He has entrusted in you, back to Him." Great message right there, and profoundly true. So why do we stop at that resource? What about time? What about our love? "No, this is my time. I worked hard to earn it! I can do whatever I want with it!" Yeah? Considering you didn't make it, that's a bold claim. We are responsible for using our resources He has given us. Think about the parable of the talents, then, and ask yourself if you're storing up your time, emotion, and money such that when the Master comes back, you will go, "Well at least I didn't lose any of it!" when servants around you go, "I invested and all I got was two fold." Do not be stingy with your resources. They're here today and gone tomorrow. Not just your money. Not just your possessions. Your time, your relations, your emotions, your friends, and you. A vapor. Spend your vapor well.
Ok, long tangent on why we might volunteer, but back to how people who volunteer fit in within an organization that has paid staff. I have noticed that when you hire on an employee (well, at least a decent one), there is an expectation: You work these tasks and I will give you a paycheck. Don't do these tasks and I will not pay you, and may fire you removing any hope of future pay. The expectation is then that the employee will do whatever the employer (reasonably) requests. If the requests are too great, they may quit. If they pay is not adequate for the risks and work being undertaken, they may ask for increased pay or quit. Employment is inherently self-seeking. The employee's primary interest is in themselves. I mentioned earlier that I have seen salaried employees volunteer extra time, for which they are not paid. Why would you do that when employment is generally selfish? Here are a few of my observations so far:
They seek to improve their standing with their employer. They may not get money for their work, but they may earn respect and rank for going above and beyond.
They're bored. They don't want to go home to their families.
They believe in the product and mission of the company and want to do what is within their power to advance it.
Last one sticks out a little, right? It does to me (granted, I wrote it...). In a culture of self, someone putting in more resources without expectation of reward (again, granted if the company does well, they'll likely see some reward, but it is not a guarantee) is not normal. When we see people like this at a company, we either dislike them because they're "showing us up" or find ourselves inspired. This group is the closest connection I think you'll find to the volunteer group who does something without expecting reward. When people believe in the vision of the solution the organization is providing to those in need to the point that they willing to invest beyond what is expected of them, there is a greater power flowing through it.
So then to the question that started this whole thing off in my mind: why, then, do we treat volunteers like robots? I have seen people day in and day out (or week in and week out) invest their resources into organizations. Sometimes just because they're bored. Sometimes because of the friends they've made. And many because they believe in the vision. But vision changes. Directions are altered. At least if it's a healthy, living breathing organization. But these changes don't involve volunteers for the majority of what I've observed. Instead the changes happen in meetings behind closed doors with people on staff who are expected to be there because they are paid to be there. The decisions are made and then the paid staff are released to disseminate the new vision and direction to the volunteers. And like good volunteers who believe in the mission, they take these changes and do what they can with them. Do you see the one-way flow to this? You're constantly asking volunteers to trust you when they're investing just as much of a time resource for little to no reward, and when it comes to executing, they have to fully assimilate that into their belief to be effective. What if they have an idea for how to better execute tasks to realize the solution to the problems of those they're serving? Ahh, but they can send it up the chain of paid staff... So long as they can do so in such a way that the paid staff fully assimilates those ideas into their own mind for the next paid staff only meeting. Otherwise those ideas will likely be forgotten because they were not personally owned by the paid staff, were not fully understood, or just not communicated well. Not to say that volunteer ideas should always be adhered to, but that they at least have the chance to be heard. Volunteers own the mission just as much as paid staff do. Quite often in these organizations, without the volunteers, there would be so little of an organization that it would fail to run at all. Why then do we treat volunteers like this?
I struggle to write this because I want to speak in general terms as I have volunteered a lot. I don't mean this as a direct confrontation on any organization I've served with. To be honest, I've seen it in every single place I've volunteered. But this is written from experience. Especially as a volunteer leader. That's where this gets really rough. Now a paid staff has hopefully disseminated the vision to me in such a way that I can execute that vision and answer questions that arise from those I lead. But I find myself struggling. I have taken to showing up as early as possible so that I can spend as much time trying understand the situation of the tasks we're about to perform, so that when executing, I can do at least a decent job. Why do I care about whether it's a good job vs. a decent job? A great job vs. an ok one? Because I care about the mission. I care about those I'm serving. But when I step into the situation and have been given very little communication to that point of what we're doing, the staff is ultimately relying on my intuition and gut calls. I'm not terrible at those, but they don't leave me feeling like I've given my best. It does not allow me to do the work I wish to do toward the mission, but instead asks me to do what I can.
So here's what I ask of organizations that utilize volunteers (whether fully volunteer or salaried employees volunteering time): treat them like employees. Do you step into a meeting room and make decision with the rest of the paid staff? What if one of the paid staff was not at the meeting? In my company, that's immediate cause for the action of "let's reschedule." We want full buyin from the critical stakeholders, and all voices to be heard that might be able to improve our processes and address the tasks effectively to provide good solutions. Just because they don't earn a paycheck does not mean they are any less critical of a team member, stakeholder, and at the very least, voice of someone who believes in the mission. Volunteers are employees, they're just not paid.
Or are they? Last year I went to a hack-a-thon (yes, I'm geeky like that) for a Christian coding group. They pitched several ideas for problems we could solve with our applications. One that was presented stuck with me, though not a single team attempted it. The presenter started off with statistics about how many volunteers work weekly for churches, ministries, and various other organizations. I don't remember the number, and I haven't found it since, sorry. But trust me, it was a large number. The next number introduced the problem: burnout. The amount of time volunteers will stick with an organization over time until they are no longer interested. I would rephrase this to "until they don't see the vision anymore." And then they presented the "solution." Recognition. Their study used a test group that had the leaders send a simple "thank you" following the task compared to a reference group that was just sent home afterward. The burnout for the thanked group was exponentially less, with people staying with the organization much longer. I didn't like this project because I dislike the idea of automated "thank you" messages. But what it did show me was that volunteers need recognition. If we starve them of that, or worse, treat them like they're robots, we are burning them out ourselves. Now I work with great people, and they seem to always find times to thank me. I appreciate them, and their words are telling me that they appreciate me. Appreciate your volunteers. Do anything and everything you can to show them that they're part of the team and involved in shaping the direction of your organization. Yes, someone has to lead, and with that leadership comes dictation, but make sure that they feel like their voices have been heard. If they lead others, recognize that the same struggles you face in leading them are likely what they're facing. Lead by example. The people he is leading are probably starving for appreciation and involvement too, and it will trickle down the chain.
I have an issue with trying to always give my best. I know, it's something that can choke me just as much as it can be a good thing. It can leave me paralyzed looking for the absolute best choice when it would have been wiser to just done whatever I could and run with it. But ultimately, I'm ok with this trait in myself, as long as it is not something I hold above someone else, or rely on to "earn" myself a better position, recognition, or treatment. I serve where I serve, regardless of how I am treated or rewarded because I have been served in the most ridiculous way by someone who laid down His life for me. I love because He loved me. I serve because He served me. When He gave at such a great cost, being a spotless lamb, why would I offer up my crippled, lame service and not my best, firstfruit effort?
Serving with a whole heart, for His glory. Loving Him by loving those around us. Onward Christian, walk.

Edited to add: Most of what I wrote here is purely my own understanding. I referenced a couple Biblical principles of which you can look up, but the majority of this is my own opinion based off my own experience and my own studying. Take it for what you will.

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Focused on the will, not the ram

Now, I'm going to speculate here. I don't know that God didn't just produce a ram where Abraham and Isaac were when Abraham was ready to sacrifice his only son. It could have been, *POOF*, and there's a ram in a thicket.

But we read that Abraham was doing this by faith. He wasn't looking for alternative ways to carry out the message God had given him. As they spent the time needed to prepare the alter for the sacrifice, was Abraham looking around for a ram?

He was faithful. And he didn't stop until God spoke again and changed the task for Abraham to perform.

We still hear God's voice today, as revealed through the Spirit through the scriptures. How often do we take out eyes and ears off His voice to look for alternatives, ways to get around what He's asked us to do? If you walked by a thicket and saw a ram caught there, would you still sacrifice your only son?

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Fear

I'm quickly becoming a fan of Kevin DeYoung. His book Just Do Something wrecked me. I was thrilled when I found out he posted regularly on the Gospel Coalition website.

I've dealt with fear. I've had doctors tell me very dark, disturbing news. I've had times of asking God why and wondering what my future will be. There have been relationships where I would rather do something to appease and control the situation for fear of losing it, than say what needs to be said or even more, to shut up and listen.

Fear is a powerful thing. The Bible speaks to it a lot. In the positive toward fearing God, and in the negative of fearing man, things, time, power, etc.

"That fear must die. For if the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom, the fear of man is the beginning of misery, compromise, and disappointment." - Whom Shall You Fear

Fear is a choice. You have to allow something or someone to be intimidating or powerful enough to make you afraid of them. I remember when I was younger and would go down into our basement. It was dark. It was creepy. In the cold Colorado winters, it was, well... Cold. I loved how active my imagination was when I was younger, but down in that basement was another story. Shadows moved. Noises echoed. But really, nothing was all that different in the dark than in the light. I was just choosing to allow myself to believe otherwise. I knew better.

And that is a choice I don't think we often recognize we make. The choice to allow. This is seriously perverting our culture right now. "I can't help myself, my brain made me do it." "There's these chemicals floating around my body influencing me." "I can't stand up to him, I need this job too badly." "She's asking so much of me, but I can't lose her." You allow the circumstance to dictate your choice for you, enabling the perceived outcome to drive the point of decision.

We fear the outcome, so we choose what will "avoid" it.

Fear is not of God. We are to fear Him, but not His creation.
"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
Fear is a choice. We choose who we fear. What we fear. Do you fear death? Do you fear loneliness? Do you fear failed relationships? Do you fear failure? Do you fear your boss? Your parents? Your friends? Do you fear fear (of anything else but God)?

Whom do you fear?

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Repost: For God So...

For God so loved His job that He sent His only Son-...
For God so loved His iPhone that He sent His only-...
For God so loved His family that He sent-...
For God so loved Facebook that He-...
For God so loved chocolate that-...
For God so loved coffee-...

For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

What do you love so much that you'd lay your life down for?

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Repost: Rough Monday

"So when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you." And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side. The disciples then rejoiced when they saw the Lord." John 20:19-20

Imagine. Our Sunday was their Monday. Back to work, the old daily grind. And this one was terrible. They had just lost their teacher, friend, and brother. They feared the Jewish leaders. They were hiding and reeling from what had happened.

Until He showed up.

Now we celebrate because Christ is risen!

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Repost: Who or What would you die for?

Who or what would you die for? I asked this question of my neighborhood group the other night. Sure enough, we all picked family or friends. I mean, they are the ones important to us, right? But how close a friend would they have to be to be willing to lay down your life for them? And single member of my family, they were in the street and about to be hit by a bus, and I had a chance to push them out of the way while taking the hit myself, I would. I have many close friends who I love very much and would do the same. But what about the less close friends? The ones who I don't know that well? Would I do the same?
What about a complete stranger? Would I be willing to save their life by laying mine down?
What about someone who has done me evil? Who has hurt me over and over again? Degrades me, slanders me, tears me down and attacks me? Would I jump in front of that bus for him?
Today, on this Good Friday, we celebrate a man who died by taking on our own death. People who have rejected him, attacked him, and mocked him. He died for us.
I mean, how easy for us to die for someone we love, right? They love us back. It makes it so easy! I love you, you love me. You'd lay your life down for me, I'd lay my life down for you. But for a stranger? For an enemy?
I would like to think I'd be willing to lay my life down for a stranger or enemy. I know where I'm going and who's blood bought my ability to get there. To live is to get to show His love, to die is to enter in and live with Him for eternity.
So what would you lay your life down for? Who is worth showing such a great act of love?

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Repost: Life is about Love

A young friend of mine, who asks some of the most beautiful, honest, earnest questions, asked me a few weeks ago why everything in life seems to revolve around romance. Pop music, movies, books.
I gave a short answer. "Because it is." Unless it isn't, of course, but I'll mention that in a second.
The overarching story of life is a love story. We celebrate a week where a groom-to-be proposes to his bride, she accepts, and he goes to prepare a place for them to live. And in that week, he bought her, paid her dowry, and has opened the door for her.
But not everyone knows that story, or believes it. They just feel the void. They feel their longing for affection and love (and depending on their background) despise it or seek it out like a drug addict.
I've been in two dating relationships now and I've seen in each how God constructed this aspect of our lives to reflect His love for us. Yet I am just as guilty as the next on focusing on it and seeking it to fill my entire void. Oh how many relationships end there, whether dating, or worse, marriage, because they find that the void cannot be fill by human affection. No wonder divorce rates are so high (within and without the church). How many pop (and especially country... ::sigh::) songs address this relationship aspect. And that's not a bad thing. We need to have healthy relationships. God showed us what those look like. To the point of laying your life down. But this media kinda just sits there. Because that's all there is to it. "Gee, I'd really like to get this girl to like me" in verse 1 and by the 4th verse (if it's Taylor Swift, it may be more like the 5th or 6th...), "Awesome, I got her." So... I guess that's it? Ride off into the sunset? Careless, honeymoon days of bliss? Any married or divorced couple would tell you no. At least, they've told me that.
But what about those who say it's not about love? What about the media that speaks of valor, character and strength (action movies come to mind). Ok, pardon my 6 year old moment for a second. Why? Why be a man or woman of valor, character and strength? So you can lord it over someone? My favorite are the ones where the hero uses those character traits to fight the bad guy and save the day. Wait... Save the day? What does that mean? Oh, stopping the bomb from destroying the city? What about the cowboy who ends up in a gunfight with the black hat cow rustler? All of these are about protecting innocent life. Maybe better said, loving human life. We know that to love is to lay down your life. To give it up for someone else. Yes, I'm sorry men, but even your action flicks are love stories.
This world was built on love. It desires love. It abuses love. It grows love. And in everything, it will remain slightly void of the perfect love that we get to taste this side of heaven, as if a kiss, until we walk through the door and spend eternity with our bridegroom in the home he has prepared for us.

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