Know The Truth

I probably shouldn't be writing right now, I'm still slightly numb from the anesthetic from a trip to the dentist. In fact, it just took me 4 attempts to properly turn what is now that comma to one from a period. Bear with me.

Today, I had an interesting experience. From 9:38AM to 3:36PM, I remember NOTHING. This was unfortunate, because my dentist appointment took from 8:10AM to 9:30AM. Oh well. But while I remembered nothing, I did many things. I texted my sister-in-law, who talked me into this appointment anyway. My brother picked me up and drove me home, though he tells me I walked out of the office, opened the car door and sat myself down at home. I even remembered to tell him I could have tylenol, but not ibuprofen. Yet I don't remember telling him that.

And then this afternoon, after I realized this had happened, it hit me... Does God judge us for what we do in our sub-conscience? When we're not awake? I think Matt. 5:28 makes it pretty clear:

"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

What really interested me, though, was what I did while I wasn't cognizant I was doing it. I knew not to take ibuprofen. If I hadn't, I'd likely have to be writing this from an ER. I believe that fact to be true, so much that even when I'm not "thinking," I rely on that truth. So why do I worry about what I said when I was "out"? Why did I have a knee-jerk, quick-go-check-my-text-messages-and-see-who-I-sent-to freak out? Because there are things that I may say I believe, but I do not truly believe them.

I want to get to the place where I'm not just saying what I believe is true, but actually living what is true, conscience or sub-conscience.